Child Worrying Excessively About School or Tests
The Situation
Your 7-9 year old says their stomach hurts before school, worries constantly about grades, or fears getting in trouble even when they've done nothing wrong.
Goal
Validate their worry, help them reality-check, and give them tools to manage anxious feelings
What to Say
"I hear you — that sounds really stressful. Let's talk about what's actually likely to happen." / "What's the worst that could happen? And what would we do?"
What Not to Say
"You're fine, stop worrying." / "There's nothing to worry about!" / Dismissing stomach aches as fake.
3-Step Plan
Validate first: "It makes sense you feel nervous about that. A lot of kids do." Feeling understood shrinks the worry.
Gently challenge the catastrophic thought: "What do you think will actually happen? Has that happened before?" Help them reality-test.
Teach a simple coping tool: belly breathing, a worry journal, or a calming phrase like 'I've done hard things before.'
Follow Up
Avoid over-accommodating the worry (e.g., letting them stay home every time). Gentle encouragement to face it builds resilience.
Safety Note
If physical symptoms (stomach aches, headaches) are frequent and school avoidance is increasing, consult your pediatrician or a child therapist.
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