Nightmares and Night Fears: Helping Your Child Feel Safe at Night
The Situation
Your child wakes from nightmares, is afraid of the dark, or won't sleep because they're scared of monsters, shadows, or being alone.
Goal
Validate your child's fears, give them real tools to feel safe, and maintain healthy sleep habits without reinforcing ongoing avoidance.
What to Say
'That sounds really scary. I'm so glad you came to me.' / 'You are safe in your room. I'm right here.' / 'Let's check together — no monsters. Your room is safe.'
What Not to Say
'There's nothing to be scared of — go back to bed.' / Dismissing the fear entirely / Letting them sleep in your bed every night as the only solution.
3-Step Plan
Take the fear seriously without amplifying it. Acknowledge their feeling, provide brief reassurance, and return them to their room calmly.
Empower them with tools: a nightlight, 'monster spray' (water in a spray bottle), a brave stuffed animal, or glow-in-the-dark stars. Give them agency over their space.
During the day, practice 'brave thoughts': 'My room is safe. Mom is nearby. I can do hard things.' This rehearsal builds confidence for nighttime.
Follow Up
Nightmares are developmentally normal and peak between ages 3-6. If they occur multiple times per week for more than a month, speak with your pediatrician.
Safety Note
Night terrors (screaming, eyes open, unresponsive) are different from nightmares. During a night terror, do not wake the child — stay nearby and keep them safe. Consult your pediatrician if they occur frequently.
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