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3-5

When Your Child Won't Share with Other Kids

The Situation

Your child refuses to share toys, space, or attention with siblings or friends, causing conflict.

Goal

Teach sharing as a skill, not just demand it as a rule.

What to Say

"It's hard to share something you love. Can you think of a way you could both play with it?"

What Not to Say

"You HAVE to share!" / "That's so selfish." / "Fine, then no one gets it."

3-Step Plan

1

Validate the feeling: "I see you're not ready to share that yet. That makes sense."

2

Use a timer: "You have 3 more minutes, then it's their turn." This gives the child agency.

3

Praise when sharing happens naturally: "I noticed you let her have a turn — that was really kind."

Follow Up

Some toys can be designated as special/private (not for sharing). Having that boundary can actually make kids more willing to share other things.

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